Yesterday’s inability to go backwards, forwards or sideways left me having to stop in my tracks. I realised that my marmalade on toast whilst delicious was a long time ago and that the reason my books were wet in my back pack were not from a leaky bottle but from me, just to give you an idea of how hot it is.

The city had become intense in the heat, a change of accommodation, meeting my work colleagues, and a lack of food left me with a sudden sense of ‘What? Why? Really?’ Much food later and a chat with a dear friend, WiFi I take it all back! I had found my feet to the night market on Wualai Silver Street. A magical place where I let myself within it, and the walk home, feel completely lost in more ways than one (ok, at one point I was actually lost). Time to let go of the control Helen, I hear a voice say. To truly travel one must loose one self along the way (still a voice yet this time with tones of Yoda).

And so to today, I realized I needed out of the city, so I headed to Doi Suthep, to Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, the holiest shrine in Chaing Mai. I didn’t make it! But I did have an adventure. I go by foot, walking for 4 hours or more. But for those of you who saw my initial ‘finding my feet in Bath’, will be glad to know that I have swapped my trusty Birki’s for Walking shoes, and my feet are healing as I walk!

By walking I see the true Chaing Mai, the reality behind the color. All senses are used and I notice things I might otherwise miss. I leave my path where so many have walked before me.

 

The Monsoon storm strikes again. I have added lavender oil to my back pack today for the itches….why always the legs? Note to self, remember waterproof.

 

As I wait for the monsoon rain to turn into your average storm, I amuse myself with a little self indulgence. I noted to a friend how I have developed a camera face, so I though it time to try some new poses………I am wet through, muddy, smiling, and getting closer to the mountain. You want to know what profound thoughts were in my head…’I wonder if you can get a cappucino around here, and I really need the loo”……I did find a cappucino 🙂

Dear Kaesha, I saw this puddle and thought of you, Auntie Helen need’s to find her inner child again, so she walked right through,she didn’t even have her wellies on!!

 

A local market Suthep Rd. Deep fried and dried everything…..

As I made it to the bottom of the mountain I thought am I mad, where are you going? I didn’t make it to the Temple, I made it as far as the Zoo!! There I spoke to a man who let me know that to walk further was for 2 not for 1, and that I should go back down the hill and turn left, at least that’s how I interpreted it. I think what he really said was you crazy little British women, do you think you are on your own pilgrimage or something, go back and get a taxi like everyone else, and yes, you are a little mad.

But as ever there is reason for all the turn’s we take….

 

 

 

As I walk I can’t help but contemplate the end of my marriage, I may as well be real as it is the catalyst for why I am here. But as Simon and I begin to talk again, we considered how we took our strength as a couple for granted. That cracks caused from grief were right in front of us, bigger than us, well more of a crevice that we both fell in but each crawled out the opposite side. But as we begin to reflect, to heal, as we truly wish nothing other than happiness for the other in our new chapters, I think to myself is that not the biggest strength of all?

Tomorrow I begin work. I am in a guest house not the volunteer house which again bring’s relief, as I need the quiet alongside this journey. I am yet to meet my room mate but I met Sarah and Mary two door’s down and we will start our day not with the crowd, but walking, then yoga, then a coffee, each excited to show the other the cafes we have found.

They sing ‘I know I’ll always be just fine, if you stand, stand by me……..’ and as ever there you all are.