Wow, a week, really? Time when you’re away takes on a life of it’s own!!

7.08.13

Today we went to ‘Hope Home’ www.hopehomechiangmai.com

We were only there for a brief time, but the nurture, love, care and people within the walls of this home touch your heart. Ever since this visit the words ‘hope’ and ‘Joy’ have resonated around my head and throughout my entire being. Already a few of us are looking to spend extra time there whilst in ARI the Art Relief Programme. My heart is filled with a drive and passion. I am filling with ideas as to how I can continue to support the amazing work here beyond my trip. It’s impact is embedding even further my own ethos and values.

Phil is loving a bit of Bob Marley!

Sarah makes a friend for life (alongside the one she has writing this blog!!)

Use the following link and you will find a picture of myself and Joy playing the tambourine

http://web.stagram.com/n/artreliefinternational

That evening we have a family meal at the volunteer house, it’s the largest family Cultural Canvas has homed so far, and they are taking such good care of us. Followed by a trip to the mall, where we sit and eat ice cream sundaes (trust me, we did not expect to be doing this either, but it was so welcomed after a heart full day). We end the day with my first ride home on a tuk tuk. I see my wings unfurl! I Just can’t stop smiling!

The ‘Hope & Joy Cafe’, watch this space……….

08.08.13

Everyone’s messages on facebook and on the blog humble me once again. I wanted to share this journey, even if that meant me just logging it so’s not to forget these steps that I travel. The fact that you guys are not only reading it, but also seem here in it beside me…….wow!! I have a new found respect for this technological world in which we live. The one in which I stated I would never even get a mobile phone…..am I really that old?

Today we went to the Baan Nokkamin Foundation, an orphanage.

The team energy was amazing as we worked for 3 hours to get this finished

With the sun on our backs we all ended a little toasted with an interesting array of sun marks as we out sweated the effectiveness of our suncream! But worth it! A lavender oil dousing commences!

Sarah and Mary are new found friends within this journey, special human beings just like you. They saw me before I even started to see myself again, and we are all finding that things here just seem to happen as if someone were listening.

I had spoken on the journey about hoping to get a traditional seat to add to the current one chair in my lounge. Down trundles a a man with his cart! Later we are all desperate for an energy boost, and down comes a man and his ice cream bike. (Seriously, this is an off the track, out of the way tiny road! Magic!)

Then unbeknown to the girls, and in perfect symmetry to my last blogg, today I laughed with tears. To tell the story of why is insignificant (although it involved a bag full of bra’s, stripped off in the heat while painting, and it not being my wallet I pulled out to pay for coffee). But really it was Mary’s laughter tears that started it, infectious, healing, freeing, bloomin’ wonderful.

I know longer ‘need’ to be a lone traveler, I now just enjoy it. Because it’s people that bring us back to life!

That evening we go to the night market, I have no photo’s as I decided that evening I needed no weight, no baggage…….but mango smoothies, yum, and I gave in to the baggy patterned pants that every tourist in Thailand is wearing, so saving mine for home (you just knew it was going to happen!!)

09.08.13

Excuse the length, but three days here is like 3 weeks. Here’s a few treasures from our evening exploration, with Sarah, Mary and my roomy Alex. The evenings act like a second day in themselves…..

Pink eggs, any ideas??

Walking our way around the North East corner of the city, bohemian style stalls, cafes and markets, very chilled out, a lot of fun.

Tofu, potato and yellow sauce curry………

………at the ‘Funky Dog Cafe’

www.facebook.com/FunkyDogCafe

‘that’s a great photo, you have a real smile now’

I knew exactly what Sarah meant as I can feel it!

10.08.13

The weekend is my own. I was going to go trekking or do a silent retreat, and whilst they are things I hope to do, right now I am just going to be. Off to lunch at the Meeting Room Art Cafe, maybe even a snooze.

Miss you all. Whilst I am making the most of every moment of this amazing, transitional journey, it warms my heart to know that my home awaits me in Bath. A home with a beautiful future that’s already happening.

To have hope we have joy, to have joy we have hope.

x

5.08.13 The actual itches on which you could now play dot to dot, I need to leave well alone and am dousing with lavender oil. The itch I need not so much to scratch but to tickle, was my first thought of the day yesterday.

This ‘itch’ used to be likened to the revving of an engine by my brother and would act like a laughter circle at the Sunday lunch table when we were little. With Simon it would be laughter bubbles that grew deep from within in and once popped I just couldn’t stop :). I am itching to laugh again, I mean deep belly, side aching laughter.

And as if I had planned it the day starts with yoga, an amazing teacher, a sanctuary, and there I begin to laugh. On route a parrot said ‘hello’ very kindly in English.

I had wondered how I would find peace in a city that never seems to sleep. But it beggins as I find the back street treasures, step out of the land of tourism into the real Chaing Mai, and make new friends who seem to already see me. Ironic when I still don’t quite recognise myself in the mirror!

The project is already giving me a unique experience of beginning to understand this city and it’s culture from those with a wealth of knowledge. Whilst by the evening language lesson my brain was nothing more than the mush of an old banana, and all I could do for you now is probably speak English and yet with a new sing song tone that is addictive, I find myself starting to fall for this city.

We were given a tour, a few snippets………………..

‘What Chedi Luang’ Temple

Warorot Market, described as ‘if you can think it, you can find it here’. This art shop is every artists dream, like the best sweet shop in the world it went on, and on, and on.

I Join the many other’s who before me have made and hung their wishes in the What Chedi Luang Temple.

Set to do a turtle rescue mission, I was quickly reassured that these creatures are offerings that are let back into the water.

The ‘Silver Temple’, it’s roof tells a fairy tale. With over 200 Temples in the City they start becoming a bit of a feature!

………………When I booked this trip it was primarily about the project, I was coming as an Art Therapist as an experience to benefit me and my practice. So much has changed since then, like putting in an offer for a cafe, you know, that every day kind of thing.

My initial focus, or any focus in fact had disappeared. I was coming just as me, with no idea any more quite why or what it would bring.

6.08.13 Even within these two day’s of orientation in the project, I see what a precious part of my transition this is, Thai culture is about having fun, creating hope in among some very difficult issues. It feel’s like I am in the right place at the right time again, and the art begins.

 Workshop for children in the local community at Cultural Canvas.

“up above the world so high” they learn English via song and create their own world.

Initially feeling my age as an ‘elder’ in the group, I quickly realise that I have a lot to be reminded of from these wonderful people. I find I am the one always a step behind for a change, I like it!……and that’s not my age, I think it’s called chilling out 🙂

I am reminded of my roots, I am reminded of so many things today.

The day ends with a beer at an amazing cafe (hehe, of course).  Any pictures a very true yet very blurry representation.

If any of you have any particularly long tickling sticks, feel free to poke them my way.

Just added this in as it was so delicious!!

Much love.

xx

Yesterday’s inability to go backwards, forwards or sideways left me having to stop in my tracks. I realised that my marmalade on toast whilst delicious was a long time ago and that the reason my books were wet in my back pack were not from a leaky bottle but from me, just to give you an idea of how hot it is.

The city had become intense in the heat, a change of accommodation, meeting my work colleagues, and a lack of food left me with a sudden sense of ‘What? Why? Really?’ Much food later and a chat with a dear friend, WiFi I take it all back! I had found my feet to the night market on Wualai Silver Street. A magical place where I let myself within it, and the walk home, feel completely lost in more ways than one (ok, at one point I was actually lost). Time to let go of the control Helen, I hear a voice say. To truly travel one must loose one self along the way (still a voice yet this time with tones of Yoda).

And so to today, I realized I needed out of the city, so I headed to Doi Suthep, to Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, the holiest shrine in Chaing Mai. I didn’t make it! But I did have an adventure. I go by foot, walking for 4 hours or more. But for those of you who saw my initial ‘finding my feet in Bath’, will be glad to know that I have swapped my trusty Birki’s for Walking shoes, and my feet are healing as I walk!

By walking I see the true Chaing Mai, the reality behind the color. All senses are used and I notice things I might otherwise miss. I leave my path where so many have walked before me.

The Monsoon storm strikes again. I have added lavender oil to my back pack today for the itches….why always the legs? Note to self, remember waterproof.

As I wait for the monsoon rain to turn into your average storm, I amuse myself with a little self indulgence. I noted to a friend how I have developed a camera face, so I though it time to try some new poses………I am wet through, muddy, smiling, and getting closer to the mountain. You want to know what profound thoughts were in my head…’I wonder if you can get a cappucino around here, and I really need the loo”……I did find a cappucino 🙂

Dear Kaesha, I saw this puddle and thought of you, Auntie Helen need’s to find her inner child again, so she walked right through,she didn’t even have her wellies on!!

A local market Suthep Rd. Deep fried and dried everything…..

As I made it to the bottom of the mountain I thought am I mad, where are you going? I didn’t make it to the Temple, I made it as far as the Zoo!! There I spoke to a man who let me know that to walk further was for 2 not for 1, and that I should go back down the hill and turn left, at least that’s how I interpreted it. I think what he really said was you crazy little British women, do you think you are on your own pilgrimage or something, go back and get a taxi like everyone else, and yes, you are a little mad.

But as ever there is reason for all the turn’s we take….

As I walk I can’t help but contemplate the end of my marriage, I may as well be real as it is the catalyst for why I am here. But as Simon and I begin to talk again, we considered how we took our strength as a couple for granted. That cracks caused from grief were right in front of us, bigger than us, well more of a crevice that we both fell in but each crawled out the opposite side. But as we begin to reflect, to heal, as we truly wish nothing other than happiness for the other in our new chapters, I think to myself is that not the biggest strength of all?

Tomorrow I begin work. I am in a guest house not the volunteer house which again bring’s relief, as I need the quiet alongside this journey. I am yet to meet my room mate but I met Sarah and Mary two door’s down and we will start our day not with the crowd, but walking, then yoga, then a coffee, each excited to show the other the cafes we have found.

They sing ‘I know I’ll always be just fine, if you stand, stand by me……..’ and as ever there you all are.

My Travels started right here, with this cappucino, ‘The Perfect Blend’, Streatham Hill.

And with these bananas. I kid you not.

…..and now. Passport, ticket, mum’s pencils, sketch pad, and something from each and everyone of my friends and family to take with me! Even though it’s time to find some quiet again, a knowing that I will never be alone. Thank you wonderful people, you taught me that!

The knowledge that this inspirational lady, among many, will be with me every step. Mum Knee, far left, Spain.

Excited to be going to Chang Mai, Thailand. For the people I will meet, the culture I will experience. to open my eyes wide, to close them and still see. The not knowing, and the impact on my art. No longer going as an Art Therapist, going just as me. Enough.

Just as excited to know that I am then coming home to friends old and new. To a life unexpected. With a happiness I didn’t even know I was searching for already right here on my doorstep. No need to search any more, time to be, time to be me. Hello.

Getting over so many fear’s, one being the black and white of modern communication, so excuse me while I find my own way to add colour. I used to think there was no need when we have our memories. But a loved one with Alzhiemer’s leaves an imprint that we must take nothing in this life for granted. If you do read this, do one thing today, stop and notice something really little that makes you grin.

‘seems I’m talking my whole life, it’s time I listen now.’

xx

Early starts and late evenings when it’s a little cooler are my perfect painting times right now. I was overwhelmed by my huge canvases when I first arrived in Bath, they were hidden away under the stairs. A joy yesterday to feel the need to let loose, hands, feet, arms, all my scourers, a few tea towels, my flat (oops), covered in paint, my heaven!! Ravenous I headed to Morrison’s to replenish the above before everything turned red, and to get pizza!

The Rose, to me an object of beauty. Larger than life, fills me with joy.

Almost time for this snail to fully come out of her shell and go on her travels…..

Firstly a cappuccino, of course! Then an afternoon of hanging work with the wonderful team at the inspiring Chapel Arts Cafe. Thank you. Watching a little bit of me go up on the walls. Mainly from 2013, but also a small glimpse of 2006, 2009 and 2012.

“To the Moon and Back” 2006 (featured). Hung above my fireplace for a long time, I hope now it will find a new home to be loved in. Wonder how many years I will need to hold on to “Grow” 2010 that now dominates my flat…..watch this space.

Went back the following day to finish off. Yes, yes, cappuccino! Pleased. Finger’s crossed for a reaction…..never know with art what that might be, but a reaction means something has been stirred. Hope the occasional piece will speak out to someone, stir a feeling of their own. Hope if it does it goes home with them.

Wasn’t sure how my, art work empty, flat would feel. Inspired. Straight out to buy more canvases. Lots of room to be filled up. An afternoon in Victoria park with my camera. Patience, time and many photo’s to capture those beautiful bee’s. Little things continues, but also a new theme is emerging. Balance.

Relocation. New lease of life.
New art to share, new website. Relaunch.
Inspired. My surroundings. People I meet. The
cafe where I sit. Returning to life.
An ordinary person. Ordinary ups and downs.
Painting everyday. Keep’s me sane and
smiling.
Reminders. Why I love to be alive. Laughter.
Peace of mind. The beauty of the visual world.
Love, loss, grief, joy, emotion, feeling, senses.
The blessing of time. Exploration. Beauty. Nature on my doorstep.
Simple things, little things.
Feeling you belong. Letting yourself shine. Friends. Family.
A city filled with
artists and music.
Clarity of colours and shapes.
Permission to see.
Letting my art speak for me. When I cannot speak. When I cannot see.
Find a wonderful cafe, a cappuccino. Already had one. Have
another. Time.
Chapel Arts Cafe
Enjoy!